white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
