I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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