And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You can't special order awesome
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize