I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
