hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize