i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
