She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Can Purell be used as lube?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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