I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Houston, we have a squirter
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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