Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
