Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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