Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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