I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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