Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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