You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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