The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
