making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize