Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
