Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
