ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
