he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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