The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize