Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
