Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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