i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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