I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
