We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
