The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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