haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize