I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize