i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
