the condom got lost in my hair
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
