Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
