whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
True strength comes from lack of pants
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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