A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
