i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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