I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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