when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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