Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize