Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
organizing the empties. That sober.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
