I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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