Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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