i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
