Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My dad just said "fuck circus"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
