Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
