I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
