You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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