Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
