Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
