The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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