We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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