So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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