i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
