I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
