k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
