: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My vagina is officially offended.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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