I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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