Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
