just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
