I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
