After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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