I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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