im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
