And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
