dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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