don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I puked a lego.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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