I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
