he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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