thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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