I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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