I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
