There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize