i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
