Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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