When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
